Not Having Kids Is Expensive

On Friday evening at 5:35 Kev and I decided to take my mom up on her offer to bring the kids to the Farm for the weekend. She and Dad were leaving at 6, so it was a mad dash to throw clothes in a bag, remember all the bedtime buddies and toss the boys in the car for a weekend away. By 6:15, we were unexpectedly kidless and without direction. So we headed into Old Town and walked around until finding a place to eat that didn't have kid menus. After a long and leisurely dinner, we started to go right home but realized we didn't need to be back for anything, so instead we found a gourmet wine shop and walked out with a bottle of wine more expensive than we would usually buy, but we were kidless, so hey, let's celebrate.

 A pretty low key Friday night ensued.

Saturday morning (after waking up on our own accord) we cleaned the whole house in an hour (and it stayed that way for 48!) and then headed back up to Old Town to meet with our financial adviser  Apparently that left us feeling very responsible, so we headed to Verizon because I was due for an upgrade. Since we weren't trying to get out of there as fast as possible before a kid destroyed something, we had some time to browse and ended up leaving the store with a new iphone for me and an ipad for Kev. 

The next stop, since we didn't have to rush home for nap, was another meal out, this time sitting at the bar, having some beers and splitting two appetizers, and talking away without interruption because we could. 

Later that night, we had an engagement party for two of my friends from high school. We met up with some other friends beforehand and then decided to cab into the city and back home to our house later (again, something we wouldn't spend money on if we knew we had to wake up with the boys in the morning-woohoo). The party was a lot of fun and it was awesome to see a lot of my high school friends. We have a wonderful group of people who love Kev and support our family and tell me my kids are cute. I am definitely grateful for those friendships spanning over 15 years and to be back in DC where I can enjoy their company more often!

Congrats Alysa and Anthony! We love you guys and were so happy to be there to celebrate!

Meanwhile, back at the Farm, the boys were having an absolute ball and didn't miss us a bit. 

(A full recap of their weekend can be seen HERE)

Sunday morning, we woke up early to leave to pick up the boys. One more meal on the go and our super expensive kidless weekend was coming to a close. Of course, we missed the boys to pieces and were so excited to get back to them, although Marme and Papa apparently wore them out.

Bennett's creepy open eye sleeping

All in all, a wonderful, unexpected date weekend with my husband. Thanks to my parents for wanting to hang with our little people and giving us some time to hang with each other. 

Now, back to the budget. 

Explaining Easter

Cullen is a very smart and curious kid, but also incredibly sensitive and easily scared, so in the past few weeks when he started having more questions about Easter (he has a basic understanding already), Kev and I have been working on the 'right' way to explain more in depth Jesus' death and Resurrection. I figured I could find a children's book that explained it in simple terms since I was failing to tell the story in my own words in a way that he understood. I picked up The Tale of Three Trees at Barnes and Noble and we sat down Tuesday afternoon while the little boys were sleeping to have our talk. 

When the story was over, he asked again about the cross:

I've seen Jesus on it at church, but I still don't understand why he was up there.

So back to the closet where I found a few religious books that we have been given over the years.

 The first didn't even bring it up, the second just talked about Jesus living (very briefly said he died and his friends were sad, but he came back and they were happy) but then the third seemed to have more a story telling element. 

So we are flipping through and I am paraphrasing this version of the story, stopped several times for questions:

Why was that guy mad that Jesus told people about God?

Why could he arrest him for that?

Why is Jesus' head bleeding?

Why were people mean to Jesus if he was a good guy?

So those other two guys were actual bad guys? 

And then in a total Mom-fail I turned the page without checking it first myself. Cullen totally freaked out (can you blame him?)

I quickly closed the book and gently explained to C that this was a long, long, time ago and things like this don't happen any more and no one would ever be hung on a cross like that and then skipped to the happy (or so I thought) ending where Jesus comes back and tells us about Heaven. Except...

I don't like this story Mommy. When people die, we aren't allowed to see them anymore on Earth. It is too weird that Jesus came back. 

And Also...

So how do we kill bad guys now?

...Oy...this parenting stuff is tough. 

3-2-1 Blast Off

You know what is awesome? 

Cardboard.

Friday afternoon Bennett wanted to go to the moon, so a quick unraveling of two diaper boxes and some crayons and we were off to space. 

Try not to be jealous of my alien drawing. And please ignore the fact that Wells does not fit in 9 month clothes. 

I love giving the boys something like this and just watching their imaginations fly away. 

Backing up to the rest of the weekend, on Saturday, we headed up to Baltimore for my brother Tommy's lacrosse game. It is his last season in college so we are trying to make as many games as we can.

 Wells has (a little early I feel like) started to have a little stranger danger. Even though he sees my dad at least 3 times a week, when I passed him over on Saturday, he had a little freak out. Gratefully, he recovers pretty quickly and his sad face is still pretty darn cute. 

 I don't know if I have ever mentioned it, but our house backs up to a horse farm and on Saturday before the game we had some friends over and the kids decided to feed them some carrots. 

 This guy was reaping most of the benefits and the kids were having so much fun.

Sunday was just Mass and hanging out at home until our date later that night. 

Wells' hair grew a little taller too, I think.

Now, we are just praying for some actual Spring weather (it snowed again today, blah) and looking forward to some sun (maybe? hopefully? Is that really too much to ask?).

Thank you everyone for the well wishes on our anniversary!

On Marriage

Today, Kev and I celebrate seven years of marriage. Sometimes it seems like yesterday, others it feels like longer than seven, but everyday I am so thankful for it. 

I was 23 on our wedding day and Kev was 2 weeks away from turning 26. We had been dating for just over a year and since it was long distance, we had never spent more than 8 consecutive days together (which only happened once- it was mostly a weekend here and there). We knew that he would deploy shortly after our wedding and it would be another 15 months before we could really start living together but I wasn't afraid or nervous or unsure. I knew I wanted to be his wife. I knew I wanted to be there in 'good times and in bad'. 

It is funny thinking about to it now because I remember being furious anytime anyone called our wedding 'My Big Day'. At some point, I think Kev and my mom actually had to instruct people not to say that phrase because I would completely shut down when it was used. To me, the wedding day wasn't "Mine", it was "ours" and it wasn't "THE" big day, but "one" day that would be the start of all THE big days to follow. I didn't want my wedding day to be about the wedding. I wanted it to be about our marriage.(And you might remember how I threw up the first time I tried on a wedding gown.) I actually fought having a church ceremony because to me, our vows were the most personal thing I would ever say and I didn't want to do it in front of 270 of our closest friends. I wanted to say it to Kev and no one else, and then I wanted to go have an awesome party to celebrate it (which we did). 

Luckily, Kev convinced me that making the Sacrament of Marriage was important, that our friends and family wanted to be there to witness it and promised I didn't have to look at anyone the whole time (we actually had our priest stand on the alter so I would be facing away from the crowd, I was that crazy about it). And I am glad that we did it that way.
 As we have traveled through this journey of marriage I have begun to understand the importance of the Sacrament in our faith better. I truly believe that it is my vocation in life to be Kev's wife and his to be my husband. That God joined us together for life and gifted us with three beautiful children who he created for us long before we knew they were our plan. 

2008, 2009, 2011, 2014

I am thankful for my marriage every day. I am thankful that I didn't have to navigate my adulthood alone. That we opened our hearts to children right away. That we have made mistakes, learned together, built a life, deepened our faith and continuously supported each other through each phase of our life together.

Our marriage isn't perfect and we consciously work very, very hard at it, but when it comes down to it, Kev is my favorite person in the world. I miss him when he is at work. He tells me the best part of his day is when I come downstairs in the morning (and not just because it means he is off of baby duty). And while we sometimes disagree or are annoyed at each other, we have never really fought. Never once have we raised our voices at each other or said regrettable things.
We try our best to honor and appreciate each other at all times. 

Seven years ago, I had no idea that we would be here today: 4 moves, 3 states, a deployment, 2 owned homes, 2 dogs (our first died when C was a toddler) and 3 beautiful boys.

Life has turned out even better than my wildest dreams imagined.

last night at The Willard

 Thank you Kev for being the best husband and father in the world and for challenging me to be a better person every day.
Here's to many, many, many, many more years.

Taking Stock

Relishing In: 
the many faces (and shocked hair) of my sweet baby Wells

Reading (again for the billionth time):
  The Giver. Have you seen the trailer for the movie? They are definitely appealing to The Hunger Games/Divergent fans and I am so hoping they do the book justice. A few things immediately off to me: the boy is way too old, the movie looks to be filmed in color and the other characters are aware of the 'secret'.

Surprised to Find Out:
The Giver is one of 4 books in the loosely based series. Thanks to fb and my friend Stephanie for blowing my mind with this information. I will be reading them all if I can find them at the library.

Considering: 
Seeing Divergent. Because I am a 16 year old girl and the last 3 movies I've seen in the theaters were: The Hunger Games, The Great Gatsby, and The Hunger Games: Catching Fire. Clearly, I have a thing for YA literature. And I liked Divergent and it looks like the movie is going to be pretty good. 

Loving:
 THAT THE SUN IS OUT and that Bennett has not removed that lacrosse helmet since Uncle Mike gave it to him last week. 

Celebrating:
 Seven years of marriage on Monday

Wearing:
 A maternity really comfy maxi dress 

Thankful:
 for a Girls' Night Out and much needed venting session with friends Cate and Alysa on Wednesday.
And for Martha and Lauren who let me say (email/text) the exact words I need to and then say the exact right words back. 

Ignoring: 
The Weather report claiming there is more snow of the way

Wondering:
Why Cullen thinks 'I just poked him in the eye and then he was awake' is not the same as 'please don't wake the baby up from his nap.'

Jealous of:
The Wells kisses Kev gets at the end of the day

Happy Weekend!

One Step Forward, Two Steps Back

Let's have a little real talk today, shall we?

This week, I feel like for every step forward, I am hopping two back. You know how it goes:

Meal plan and make it to the grocery store/Forget about 10 essential things and start my list all over again.

Wash the floor/Let dog in forgetting that it is still wet and muddy outside and the clean floor is clean no longer.

Finally get all the laundry sorted and put away/ The basket is already full of dirty clothes again. 

Get all three boys down to nap/quiet time: One of them has a reason to not be down for nap/quiet time.
Get three boys out the door and buckled/at least one, if not all, needs to poop.

Now I know these aren't big, life shattering issues, but it doesn't mean that it isn't annoying. I hate the feeling that there are always dishes in my sink, that by the time I get it all cleaned up, it is all a mess again, and that I often feel like I am on the edge with the boys when things around me aren't being taken care of.

The other morning, we went to the shop and my brother looked at Kev and me and said "Wow, you two look tired."

And it is true. We are. Two weeks of whatever this virus is, snow days, cold weather, gray skies, a constantly changing scheduling for him, a complete lack of routine (because of school cancellations/delays) for me and I think both of us are just tired. It is so hard to find the groove when things around us aren't going smoothly and I am getting frustrated with it. And when I am frustrated with a situation, I get frustrated with my boys and lose my patience. And then I get frustrated that I am frustrated. It is a vicious cycle.

So I'm working on it. Like right now (Tuesday afternoon), I know my window to write this down is short. And I know that there are dishes in the sink, dirt on the floor, a half chewed up carrot on the carpet and laundry in every room of the house. But I'm choosing 15 minutes with my feet up. Don't get me wrong, the second I finish this, I will be cleaning that up because like Jenn, I can't just let it go. But I need to be better about taking that minute, regrouping and focusing on the present instead of letting my mind be filled with what 'needs' to be done. Because it will done. I know this.

 Monday night, Kev and I had plans to go out on a date, but almost didn't because we were both feeling grumpy and tired, but we stayed the course and it ended up being awesome. Just as much as we need to recharge independently, we need to take care of 'us' too. Things are not in a place were they are about to get easier, but we both need to be in a place where we feel that things are manageable, and sometimes, the best way to start that is simply by having a conversation not interrupted by poop jokes. 

Pre-date on Monday night, a date during which, of course, we discussed the boys' love of poop jokes.

So that's it.
Just a little vent so we can all commiserate because I'm not alone in this right?
It is okay to feel a little worn out once in a while?
Can we create a button that stops the rest of the world for 5 hours but allows us to catch up on whateveritis that is seemingly impossible to catch up on?
Or at least can I get some 70 degree weather? Because I feel like that would help too.

And now, photos of sleeping children:

Wells sleeps on his belly but for the first time the other night I went to check on him and he had rolled over like this. Such a big boy

Probably knowing that I was feeling a bit annoyed, the boys tried to combat this post by being super cute and sweet and having a sleepover in Bennett's room. They make it hard to complain most of the time. 

No, I Don't Want To Build A &*!%@ing Snowman

Well, look what we woke up to again. The never ending winter. 

Six inches and a few more on the way today. No school again. And my poor daffodils...

So let's talk happy things, like the fact that it was 65 and sunny on Saturday

 We spent the weekend with my inlaws, first at Mike's lacrosse game on Saturday (no pictures) and then at their house all day yesterday. We met them down at our home church and went and visited my Papa's grave (he died when I was in 3rd grade, but since the passing of Opa, Cullen has had a lot of questions and he was very interested to 'meet' Papa). Afterwards, we spent the day with Deb, Scott and Mike.

Bennett gave me his best 'O look Mom, I'm 17 face'

 Cullen made sand balls

 And Wells showed off his rolly thighs

 and giant smile.

After dinner we came home for another early night for everyone (Kev and my cold is still lingering) and woke up to not only snow but a visit from the mischievous leprechaun. 

 Feel free to join us any time Spring, flowers and snow just doesn't look right. 

Happy St Patrick's Day to you all!

What I've Learned From Blogging

So I just realized that I have been blogging for 4 years. Four Years! That is crazy, right? When I started this blog on March 13, 2010, I had no idea where it, or where life was going to take me. My friend Laura had introduced me to blogging via the decorating world of Little Green Notebook and isuwannee and I immediately knew I wanted to join in the fun. Of course, at the time, I also thought I would buy old furniture, refurbish and sell it, but hey, we all have to start somewhere.

But after 4 years and 908 posts, I feel like I have a few things to share about what I have gained and learned from blogging.

1. Be yourself. I know, seems cliche, but seriously, I started out thinking I wanted to be just like LGN, but that wasn't me. 'Me' was the mother of Cullen, who loved spring blooms and doing fun things on the weekends. So when I stared writing about that, people began reading about that (and when I say 'people' that covers everyone from strangers to my dad)

the first picture of Cullen on the blog.

toddler Cullen playing at the shop

2. Do be cautious. My blog is public and I like it that way. But I also take precautions that make me more comfortable with the decision to keep it public: I never share our last name, I have never shown a picture of the front of our house. I have never the name of  our neighborhood or where the boys go to school. I always ask friends permission before posting a picture of them or their children. I have never said where Kev works. I know these aren't the same for everyone, but overtime, these are safety concerns that became important to me as my blog grew to an audience outside of people I knew in real life.

3. Blog friends are awesome. Truly, a wonderful group of people. I am so lucky that I have never received an ugly comment on my blog. Thank you, everyone, for that. This space has been nothing but an uplifter and I am proud of that. I love all of you who take the time to read and comment, email or text about a post. You know I have met Jenn and Lauren in real life and that I have become good friends with Jess since moving to DC, but there are so many women who I consider friends even though we have never met. We send each other notes of encouragement, have been there for marriages, births, deaths and milestones and even though we don't 'know' each other, our blogs allow us to feel connected.

that time I swore to Kev that there weren't serial killers coming to our house for 3 days...even though I wasn't positive about that myself (thankfully, they weren't, and turned out to be even more amazing in real life)

4. People who don't blog, but read my blog, are especially awesome. It is no secret that I put a lot of time and effort into this space, so when anyone 'likes' a post, comments or sends me a message, it means the world to me. Of course, I write this because it is my family's daily journal, but it is public because I am happy to share it. So when someone takes time out of their day to let me know that they appreciated or resonated with a post, I am glad for it.

 Just a few days ago, a former student of mine messaged me that she loved reading my blog because it gave her 'hope' and I thanked her for using that word because that is exactly the type of place I wanted this to be. In fact, the title of my first post was "There is always something to hope for"

seems like a good time to re-share Bennett's baby mullet

5.When you start a blog, pick an easy URL, and then spell it correctly. Yep, Daffodils is spelled wrong in my domain name and I didn't realize it for like a year. Classic. 

whyyyyyy mess that up Mother? whyyyyyyy?
(Baby Bennett, basking in the sun after some Monterey fog)

6. There is something really special about documenting your daily life in pictures and stories. I've said it over and over again, but blogging has made me a better person. It has helped me find the good and note worthy of each and every day. It has helped me remember the finer moments of my boys' babyhoods. It has let me release emotions that I didn't otherwise know what to do with. It has empowered me to share hard days that I know others are having too. 

My boys love to look at my blog and see pictures of themselves as little ones and all our different houses. I hope that one day they will be able to read it as a whole and really understand how much I love them. If anything, this blog is the 'home movie' of their childhood- the piece by piece narrative their future wives will want to read all about. (At least that it what I tell myself.)

Note to self: update family of 5 photo

So there you have it. 

Four years ago, I was a 26 year old mother one baby boy, living in North Carolina, working at a Catholic elementary school, and married 3 years to a man I thought was getting out of the Army that August. 

And today, I am a 30 year old mother of 3 boys, living in DC (by way of California), debating about sending our now almost Kindergartner to a Catholic elementary school, and married 7 years to a man who is making a career out of the Army. 

Who knew that is where we would end up? 

But thankfully, the blog has captured it each step of the way. 

Thank you all for making the journey that much more worthwhile. 

Truth Be Told

*My sickness isn't going away. I'm actually pretty sure it has developed into a sinus infection because when I blow my nose, my teeth hurt. Is that a thing? Combine sickness + sleepless nights (our Sunday night success was short lived) + more freezing cold weather on the way and you have one crabby Momma. And no one likes crabby Momma. I don't even like me right now. Praying this all heals up stat.

This is our first spring in the new house and this is just one of many bunches of daffodils coming up- I am so excited!

*We had a little redneck front yard party Tuesday afternoon. Bowling for soup cans? Don't mind if we do.

 *I've been meaning to take pictures of our dinners nightly. I was talking to a friend not too long ago about how it is difficult to make meals that are healthy-ish, quick and easy-ish and kid friendly-ish, but that the majority of ours fall in that category, so I thought I'd do an Their Meals/Our Meals post. Only problem is, I always forget to take the picture. So here is one example instead of the whole post I intended on:

Them: Crock pot BBQ chicken, strawberries, cornbread, cheese
Us: BBQ, cornbread, salad

We always eat dinner together as long as Kev is home on time and I really like the boys to more or less eat what we are eating, so this is a perfect example of how I would plate us on a night like this. If you are really interested in a whole week's worth, I'll try really hard to remember to take those pics.

*We skyped with Monterey friends (and fellow Mommy Blogger Jenny) the other day. The kids were so cute catching up on lego building, new baby names and nose picking.

I often miss our family friends from Monterey and how easy it was just to walk across the playground and have lots of friend to play and Mommies to hang out with.

*We are loving the new show on Fox Enlisted. It is on Friday nights at 9:00 and we have it set up on the DVR and are so excited every time we see a new episode. It is about 3 brothers in the Army and their personalities are so much what we imagine our boys to be like growing up. Definitely check it out, it is laugh out loud funny.

*Speaking of 3 boys, strangers still ask me a lot when I am going to try for a girl.
a) I still have a baby, so woah, not there yet.
b) what is wrong with 4 boys? I'd take it in a heartbeat.
c) None of yo' business stranger

*You should definitely read THIS STORY and be mindful of what you share on social media, especially when it pertains to big news or tragedy.