Why I Stay Home (and Thoughts On a 4th)

Today's post comes courtesy of Heather, who asked:

What are the best and most challenging things about staying home with your kids? As my husband and I think about having kids ourselves, one thing we consider is whether we would want to have our kids in daycare, have one parents stay home, or have one parent "work" part-time either at home or outside the home. (I put "work" in quotation marks because I think being a parent is obviously around-the-clock work!) I know there are many opinions on this, so I love to hear different moms' thoughts and perspectives. 

And here is the simple answer to how we decided I would stay home: I always wanted to.

Now, here is the really long answer:
Staying at home has always been my plan. Even when I was a kid, I decided I wanted to be a teacher because I would have the same hours as my kids. Luckily, when Kev and I got married, he shared the same vision that I would be a stay at home mom when the time came. I guess our decision was a little easier too since we married and had kids young- we never really lived off of two incomes, so 'giving up' my income wasn't really an issue. We learned early on how to live within our means and financially have always been able to make it work, which I feel very blessed for.
 I taught high school full time for 2 years (age 22-23) and then stopped working when we moved in NC (not pregnant but didn't look for a job right away since we just wanted to be together for a while first since he was deployed for our first year of marriage). I ended up working at a Catholic grade school for the next 3 years, but only part time, and more for my sanity than our finances. During this I did have Cullen (age 25) and we found a wonderful Mother's Morning Out Program that he attended when I was at work in the morning.

When we moved to California in 2011, C was 2 and B was 6 weeks old and we knew I would definitely not work. The next 6 months that followed were incredibly difficult. I had very few friends, no job, no family nearby, Kev was not around a lot and I now had two children who needed me all day. It was not an easy season, but as time went by, I got Cullen enrolled in preschool, I met more friends and we started planning activities and outings and the remaining time in Monterey became an amazing experience for this stay at home mom.

Now with 3 littles at home, I am retired for real and not considering going back to work until they are all in school all day.

But most of all, I just wanted to be home.

Spring and Fall Pictures... why do they grow so fast?

That day I blogged about yesterday?
 I love it.
That post is the best part for me about choosing to be a stay at home mom.
There are frustrating moments, the boys go to time out for not listening, I hardly get any time to myself and there are some days when I don't speak to another adult in person. But those hard moments are totally outweighed by how much I love spending my days with my boys. As a military family, I like that my boys know that no matter what changes, Mommy at home will always remain the same. 

I also know I wouldn't be good enough at work AND at home if I had to split myself in half.  And I have an enormous amount of respect for those who can find that perfect balance.
(Cheers to my working Momma friends- I think you are AMAZING)

Staying home isn't for everyone, but it is definitely what works best for our family.

(Told you that was a long answer.)

And Momma Tully and Rachel want to know:
Are there plans for #4?

Duh.

And no, we won't be 'trying' for a girl when the time comes.
I would love a daughter, but I would love a 4th son just as much. 

A Day in the Life

When I opened to blog to questions last week, Annette asked:

I guess my question is whether you ever follow a routine. I only have one child, and I still can't seem to have a routine in place. Do you do breakfast, lunch, naptime, and dinner at a certain time on most days, or do you just go with the flow? What's your secret to staying sane? 

Yes, we have a serious routine, and it is the secret to keeping me sane. 

We don't do the exact same thing every day, but we follow a pretty general schedule and I think the boys (and I) do better knowing what to expect next. 

To further explain...here is our Tuesday.

Wake up call at 6:34. 

I don't set an alarm because I have 3 of them. This morning, it is Wells, followed by Cullen and a short while later Bennett. The big boys go downstairs to watch a show while I get (a still sleepy) Wells his bottle and myself a half a cup of steaming hot black coffee.

Food wakes this one right up!

 After a healthy breakfast of cinnamon rolls (Kev's out of town... easy it is), Wells is down for his first nap and the boys are in the boy-cave for this first round of lacrosse. 

 During this time (8-8:45ish) I clean the kitchen, drink more coffee, check email and get myself and the boys dressed. 

 I'm not good at selfies, but here is my OOTD. This is pretty much a variation of what I wear daily- I am somewhere between a sweatpants mom and a dressy-mom.

 If the weather e-v-e-r gets warm, this look will be traded for sundresses and sandals. 

 After dropping C off at school (B doesn't go on T/Th), we headed to our family's shop. We stop by here at least twice a week to see my Dad, uncles and brother. I love this time so much because it is what I did as a kid and it is so fun to watch my kids have the same experience.

 Plus, the boys think it is amazing, and Bennett, without fail, asks every Tuesday if we can go there.

Wells helping Papa with calls

Helping Bummy with 'that cool car'  (and searching for the lollipops Bummy keeps in his tool box)

 After the shop, we stop by the tower to see Marme and then head to our date at the book store. 

An hour later it was time to go pick up Cullen and go home for lunch. 

While I was preparing the food, the big boys were running around in circles trying to make Wells laugh. 

He was more interested in lunch, obviously.

Oh yea, and we have a dog.

 After lunch, it is nap time for Bennett and Wells, and quiet time for Cullen. He spends 30 minutes in his room while I take my 'break' for the day- during this time I generally check my email, facebook and instagram and have a cup of tea. 

After quiet time, C gets 30 minutes of pbskids time while I clean up from the morning and lunch. 

Afterwards, we hang out for an hour, reading books, practicing math flash cards, building legos...whatever he feels like.

 When the little boys wake up, Wells has another bottle and then we do something. If it is nice out, then 'something' is hanging out in the front yard, but on a rainy day like Tuesday, we went to the library. We go at least once a week because the kids' room is big, enclosed, has a good selection of books and 99% of the time we have it to ourselves.

 I know Kindles are the cool thing to do, but I really prefer books.

 A quick stop to the grocery store (not enough hands left to take a picture) and we were home for dinner. On the way back for the library, Bennett told us that he wanted to have us at 'his house' for dinner and wanted to make tacos. Luckily for him, I already had chicken defrosted, so I cooked it up and then let B do the rest. He even set his little table for us all by himself. 

Melt my heart. 

On another question note: April asked what Wells is eating since he isn't eating purees anymore.

 He is quite literally having what we are having. 

This night, he had pieces of tortilla, chicken, cheese and a clementine. 

When Kev is here, he takes the boys to bath while I clean up from dinner, but since I am on my own this week, I have the boys play while I clean up and then it is bath time. 

Since this is usually Kev's job, I get a lot of flak about how I am doing it wrong. 

Hopefully they won't be the smelly kids at school tomorrow.

Another awkward selfie- but this is what 6:34pm looks like at my house

I put Wells to bed while the boys play some more sports in the basement, then we build a fort, play Army men, do some more math cards, have dessert, watch a show, facetime with Daddy, and somewhere in there two boys lose their PJ shirts. 

 It is bedtime for them at 8, which gets me back downstairs at 8:20 to switch the laundry, load the dishwasher and fail at figuring out how to iron on velro for a project for C's class. 

I give up a little while later, and then realize it has been five o'clock somewhere for a long time. 

So a glass of wine, talk with Kev and bad TV is in store for the end of my day.  

 Cheers to tomorrow!

The Perfect Kind Of Weekend

Guess what we did Saturday?

N-O-T-H-I-N-G

The real kind of nothing. 

We didn't clean. We didn't cook. We didn't see anyone except for our boys and each other. 

We played outside. We rode bikes. We went for ice cream. Kev and I sat out back in the sunshine with a beer while the boys napped. We ordered in dinner. 

It was one of those wonderfully simple, perfect kind of days. One where I just soaked in every ounce of blessings that my family gives me and enjoyed every second without an agenda.

Look at Mommy and smile!
Fail.

My litter photographer hard at work

Baby's first ice cream

Not sure why the chicken wing, but always nice to get in the picture

 Sunday was Mass and lunch, followed by Kev taking off to travel for work this week. Luckily, my friends Cate and John came to the rescue with pizza and cookies for dinner so I wouldn't have to worry about cooking and snuggled (and got beat at lacrosse) with some boys. You guys are the best!

Hope your weekend was just as wonderful

*Linked up with Mommy Moments

Questions, Questions

Every once in a while, it is fun to open to the comments to any questions you might have. 

So do it- ask me anything and I will post the answers sometime next week.

Here's a few preview answers:

 the boys are happiest outside

 Wells was not impressed by bubbles.

Okay, now ask away!

Let's Talk Wells

On April 14th, Wells turned 8 months old. For all 3 of my boys, this has been an absolute favorite age for me. They are engaging, can feed themselves, sleep well, play with toys and can't get into too much trouble yet. 

I mentioned once before that Wells is the type of baby that could make people want a baby and this is definitely still the case. He inherited his Daddy's smile and seems to bring the expression to his face with his whole being.

 It is a contagious kind of joy that he has in his heart and I pray that he never loses it.

 He finally sprouted two teeth in the last few days, but that didn't stop him from eating real food previous to getting them. He gave up the purees over a long time ago and aside from a squeeze pouch on the go, simply eats whatever we are eating. He has yet to meet a food he doesn't like and will even sort through his tray to find the ones he prefers. I can't even list all the foods he's tried because chance are, if we've had it then so has he. He also drinks a bunch (3rd child..I don't have specifics) of formula a day.

 Like his biggest brother, he has zero interest in crawling or rolling. He can't go from back to belly at all and if we put him on his belly to try and crawl, he will flip right over and just lay there.

If he is sitting and can't reach a toy, he will just fall over and play with his toes. This lack of effort in the moving department doesn't concern me at all. I am perfectly happy letting him sit still for as long as he wants (Please buddy, at least through when we go to the beach at the end of next week. I would looove it if you just sit on a blanket the whole time. Thanks in advance.).

 If he is over tired, he will have just a little bit of stranger danger and when he feels that way, Momma is the only one he wants.

 He take two naps in the morning, usually one in the car while we are on the go and one short one before the boys leave for school. Then in the afternoon he is out from 1-3 just like Bennett. He goes to bed around 6:30 and sometimes wakes up for a little snack around 5 and then goes back down until 6:30.

His two brothers are his favorite people in the world.

He wears 12-18 month clothes and easily weighs 25lbs. My sweet giant baby.

 His hair is also still out of control.

We love you so much darling boy. 

Keep growing big, healthy and strong, and don't let anyone ever take your happiness away!

Stop and Smell the Tulips

On Tuesday mornings, B, W and I always have a date while C is at school. Some days we hang out at the book store and others we come home and make chocolate milk and play monster trucks, but this Tuesday, we tried something new. I saw someone post on facebook about the Netherland Carillon Park where there are some amazing tulips in bloom, so after we dropped off Cullen, we drove a few more miles north to check it out. 

It was absolutely worth the visit.

The park was actually right next to the Iwo Jima Memorial- one that I have driven by a thousand times but never seen up close.

After a while, B decided he wanted to take my camera and capture his own images. 

Unfortunately, I had my 50mm lens on and it is a manual focus, but I still love what he came up with (all straight off the camera, no edits).

 Budding photographer, I think.

I think it can only be cute to take pictures of random Veterans if you are 3. 

 I feel like it is so easy to get caught in a rut and not go and explore and take advantage of this awesome city we live in- so I am very grateful for this beautiful morning with my littlest boys.