Cullen Goes to Kindergarten

You might remember last fall that I was consumed a bit with choosing the right school for Cullen and after months of weighing our options, praying about it and visiting both our local public school and the Catholic school we ultimately decided that the Catholic one was the best option for our sweet boy. 

Mostly because of the uniform:

these were totally taken after school

Just kidding. 

There were many factors that weighed our decision, but seriously, how cute does look? 

 The weeks before school started he asked me if he could sleep in it so he was ready...and if he could wear it to my brother's wedding in September since it is 'so fancy'.

Cullen has been SO excited about school since we made the decision last Spring and enjoyed several  playdates this summer to help him get familiar with some of the kids. He has been counting down the days on my calendar and would beam with pride every time someone asked him if he was off to Kindergarten. 

Monday morning, the excitement continued, as he came into my room fully dressed (shoes and all) before I was even up out of bed. Admittedly, it was a litttttle crazy getting us all out of the house by 7:40 and Wells might have still been in his PJs and Bennett made it out in two different shoes, but we were in school on time. 

As we hurried in with all the other parents and children, I felt his little body inch just a little closer to mine and by the time we reached his classroom his arms were right around my leg. I got him settled in a seat and after one look around to none of the familiar faces he met this summer, Cullen burst into tears. He asked to go home with me (meanwhile, Bennett's hair was sticking up from the syrup at breakfast and Wells was helpfully rearranging the book case in the corner...yea, I was that Mom) and begged me not to leave. Luckily, his sweet teacher noticed the commotion and came over to pry him from my arms. I told him I would watch from the hallway for a minute, but really soon as he turned his head, I walked away too. Having known from my own Pre-K teaching days, seeing Mom really only makes it worse. 

Getting nervous

As I walked back down the hallway, holding back my own tears, wishing that Kev was here because he would have handled it so much better (and probably would have intervened on Bennett's shoe situation), I took a moment to take a deep breath and said a quick prayer for my big boy that he would find comfort and joy in his classroom that day (And for the record, called my mom and cried on the way home.)

Then I awkwardly walked past the nice ladies offering coffee and doughnuts in the Parish Hall...
because I didn't want to go into a room where I didn't know anyone.

 This Kindergarten stuff is tough, I tell you.

*****

Luckily, at pickup, Cullen was all smiles. He had the BEST day ever and loved his teachers.

 Highlights in his own words:

We went on the playground and there were some big kids there and they didn't even play too rough at all.

You know in Kindergarten, the teacher doesn't have to come in your bathroom, you just raise your hand and then you can go, but I didn't even have to go tinkle one time all day... But I really need to go now.

You only packed me one snack and some kids had two snacks. I want two snacks.

Guess what? I met my PE teacher and tomorrow I get to wear a Tshirt and play sports ALL DAY ({Had to inform him PE only lasted 30 minutes}

I didn't talk to any of the girls.

I'm number 14 in my class in my cubby and on my folder, which is good, because 14 is also my jersey number, since I make big plays like Nick Marshall {Auburn's quarterback}

At circle time, I picked a green square to sit on, but tomorrow I might pick orange. I am not all the way sure though yet. 

Did you know sometimes in circle you are just allowed to say answers without raising your hand? But I didn't say any, even though I know all the days of the week, I didn't want to shout in class.

Now that my first day of school is over, I can start focusing on the {Auburn} game this weekend.

Wait, what did you guys do today?

 We are so proud of you, Cullen James!

FIVE.

That's right, FIVE. 

My baby Cullen is five years old today.

Two years ago, on the eve of Cullen's 3rd birthday, I wrote that he was:

Cautious

Kind

Curious

And today those adjectives still ring so true. 

Cautious.

My sweet boy will never do anything he is uncomfortable with. He doesn't like large group situations that are unfamiliar. He won't watch a movie that is the least bit scary. He prefers comedy to action. He isn't interested in taking off the training wheels to his bike or swimming without floaties.

Not to say that he isn't brave, because he will also jump in the ocean, get hit in the face with a lacrosse ball to save a shot and is very protective of his brothers, but he does everything with a bit of cautiousness and we have learned that letting him get confident in his own time is the most important. 

Kind.

His kindness is unbelievable. He is a helper and a rule follower. He is a good friend and ever so considerate. He loves his brothers, his daddy and me so much. He is easily excitable and looks up to his role models.

 I truly think he sees the very best in everyone, which in turn makes me a better person.

Curious.

Cullen questions me all day. He wants to know everything about everything. 

What causes an earthquake? What does Daddy do at work? What was your favorite food when you were a girl?How did you know that Bennett was in your belly? What do you think I am going to be when I get big? Who won the whatever-whatever sports game last night? Do you want to do ground ball drills with me?

And a classic from the other day:

Cullen: Mommy, what are leaves made out of?

Me: I don't know honey, just leaves. 

Cullen: Wrong. They are made out of God's love.

Birth-day, One, Two, Three

four

five

Happy Birthday my darling boy. 

Keep growing strong, smart, athletic, and cautious, kind and curious. 

We love you so much.

(Yet Another) Good Poop Story

Me: Cullen, gross, you must to remember to flush the potty after you poop.

Cullen {smacks palm to forehead}: Come on brain, you've got this!

Explaining Easter

Cullen is a very smart and curious kid, but also incredibly sensitive and easily scared, so in the past few weeks when he started having more questions about Easter (he has a basic understanding already), Kev and I have been working on the 'right' way to explain more in depth Jesus' death and Resurrection. I figured I could find a children's book that explained it in simple terms since I was failing to tell the story in my own words in a way that he understood. I picked up The Tale of Three Trees at Barnes and Noble and we sat down Tuesday afternoon while the little boys were sleeping to have our talk. 

When the story was over, he asked again about the cross:

I've seen Jesus on it at church, but I still don't understand why he was up there.

So back to the closet where I found a few religious books that we have been given over the years.

 The first didn't even bring it up, the second just talked about Jesus living (very briefly said he died and his friends were sad, but he came back and they were happy) but then the third seemed to have more a story telling element. 

So we are flipping through and I am paraphrasing this version of the story, stopped several times for questions:

Why was that guy mad that Jesus told people about God?

Why could he arrest him for that?

Why is Jesus' head bleeding?

Why were people mean to Jesus if he was a good guy?

So those other two guys were actual bad guys? 

And then in a total Mom-fail I turned the page without checking it first myself. Cullen totally freaked out (can you blame him?)

I quickly closed the book and gently explained to C that this was a long, long, time ago and things like this don't happen any more and no one would ever be hung on a cross like that and then skipped to the happy (or so I thought) ending where Jesus comes back and tells us about Heaven. Except...

I don't like this story Mommy. When people die, we aren't allowed to see them anymore on Earth. It is too weird that Jesus came back. 

And Also...

So how do we kill bad guys now?

...Oy...this parenting stuff is tough. 

A Child's Perspective

Cullen, last night, while saying his bedtime prayers:

I was thinking I wanted to say a special prayer for Oma since she is probably still sad and misses Opa, but then I was wondering why, even if Opa is in Heaven and not sick anymore, that he doesn't miss Oma? Because I think he does... So I want to pray for that. 

Their wedding day, 1956

I think so too, sweet boy. 

Thank you so much for the reminder. 

The No Nap Problem

For the past 4 years and 10 months, the time between 1-3pm has been 'my' time. The boys sleep and I clean, do laundry, wipe finger prints off walls, sweep the floors, read, blog, email...whatever. 

It is my time. 

Well, it was my time.

But then a certain little someone went cold turkey on nap and now I am at not sure how to restructure my day. 

C is awesome at staying in his room for 'quiet time' for 30 minutes or so (depending on how long I set his clock for), but it gives me the time to choose only one: take care of house or do 'me' stuff. Then by the time he is up, I feel guilty for not spending time with him, but I also don't want him sitting in front of the TV or spending too much time on the computer (he is allowed 30 minutes of pbskids.org after quiet time). 

So what to do?

We spend some time with his Kindergarten work book and practice reading, but I need some other ideas. 

Any advice from Mommas with non-napping pre-schoolers? Do you chose household chores or Momma time during quiet time? What are some other activities I can do with Cullen during our time?

(And now you know, my lack of email response and commenting is directly linked to my lack of me time.. we will figure out a balance soon!)

A Good Poop Story

(Because who doesn't love one of those?)

Yesterday afternoon, I put all 3 boys down for nap and approximately 0.3 seconds after I sat down with a cup of tea, Cullen was yelling from his room that his 'eyes weren't sleepy enough'. So I went up there and told him just to have 30 minutes of quiet time and when it was up, I would come get him, so he couldn't leave his room in the meantime.

I came downstairs, popped my tea back in the microwave and went to sit for the second time when he started yelling for me again. I went jumping up the stairs to tell him it's QUIET time and found him pantless, squatting in the middle of his room.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING??

'I had to poop but you said I couldn't leave my room!'

The good news? He takes directions very seriously (and very literally).

The bad news? I had to clean up a poop log.

Ah, the joys.

Happy Weekend! 

Wells Meets His Brothers

As I mentioned during the course of my pregnancy, one of the perks of #3 was not being afraid that I wouldn't have enough love to share with Wells or that his brothers would react negatively to his arrival.  But once again, my emotions surprised me when the boys actually met their little brother. 

Bennett's first words to me about Wells were "Aw, Mommy, our baby!" which sent my sister in law (and the rest of us) straight into tears in the hospital room. 

 Meanwhile, Cullen has assumed the role of double big brother with flying colors. The biggest jealousy issues we've dealt with are with C having meltdowns when too many people come to visit and he doesn't have a turn to hold Wells, and when W gets gifts but he doesn't (we have had a little Come to Jesus Meeting about that and it has gotten a bit better).

 Otherwise, they are having a great time with their brother,

 insisting that he take part afternoon outside time

and morning cuddles,

 and mid day chats

and check ups (I love this picture so much)

and definitely some evening snuggles

 We couldn't be prouder of our 'big boys' adjusting to their little brother,

 even when they fight over who gets to push the button on the vibrating chair.

 I couldn't feel more blessed to have these three boys as my own.

Celebrations

On Saturday afternoon, we gathered for one last big party with our Monterey friends for my two big boys. Cullen's 4th birthday was Monday and Bennett will be 2 on June 5th, and since our movers start packing us on Friday (!!!) we decided to combine their party for a fun celebration.

Technically, their theme was Cars but aside from their bright colored polos and a Lighten McQueen birthday sign, the theme was actually pizza, cupcakes and playground, just the way the pre-pinterest world intended.

Just up the street from our house, we have this amazing community center that we can rent free of charge. We had the party here last year too and are thankful for such a large space, with an easy clean up, for our family friends to enjoy.

After pizza and play, we gathered to sing Happy Birthday. B went for the cupcake before the candle.

Our friend Kelly came down from San Francisco and we were so happy to see her one more time before we return to the East Coast. 

 I realized as we were leaving that I didn't get a family picture...this was the best we could do.

And when we got home, two spoiled boys opened some pretty thoughtful gifts. 

On Monday, Cullen's actual birthday (as he kept telling us) we had a great day too. He brought brownies and watermelon to school, got a Happy Meal for lunch, went to another friend's birthday party in the afternoon, then came home for repeat cupcakes and candle, 

 (clearly, B prefers joint celebrations)

 followed by his birthday surprise: a big boy bike!

All in all, a perfect way to celebrate my beautiful boys (and I didn't even share that we had a shower for Baby 3 on Friday...more on that tomorrow). 

I know I say it all the time, but we are so blessed in our little life, from our supportive friends, you lovely blog readers and our loving family (Cullen told me Monday night that 'lots of peoples from Ba-ginia keep calling today!), I couldn't ask for more. I am so proud of my boys, Kev and our little one on the way, it makes my heart soar that so many people love them too. 

Then, He Turned Four

I swear, I was just writing a post about Cullen turning 3 a few days ago, but apparently another year has gone by and he turned four on me. 

I loved age 3. It was such a fun year, watching Cullen grow from a toddler to a little boy has been such a joy. He continues to be cautious, kind and curious and has only expanded on those aspects of his personality. 

He never does anything he isn't sure of. He holds my hand if he feels unstable. He loves rules because they keep him safe. He wants his Teddy with him if he is doing something new that makes him nervous.

He looks forward to school everyday. He knows and can write all his letters and numbers. He draws me pictures every night before bed and leaves them on my pillow.

 He loves his brother so much. He tells the baby in my belly 'hi' when he gets home from school. His face lights up when Kev gets home from work. He says 'please', 'thank you' and 'I love you' all the time. His smile will fix anyone's bad day.

He asks questions, lord does the boy ask questions.

  What are you talking about, Mommy? Why did the dinosaurs become a-stinked? What's that sign say? Why is the ocean different colors some days? How do you make the baby in your belly grow? What's your favorite color? Why? How do tomatoes grow? Do rolly-pollys have eyes? How do you sleep? What makes a dream happen? Can I sleep in your bed? Do you think my snail friend left the back yard because he missed his family? Why did the Priest throw water at us today? How does the car work? What's that light for? Who wrote this book? How old do I need to be to drive? Why is that guy over there walking that way?

He is so excited about being four and we are too. I can't wait to see in what ways he continues to grow and amaze us.

Happy birthday my sweet boy, we love you.

The Little Peas That Could

You might remember that back in February, Cullen wanted to grow a garden so we picked up some seeds and a little green house from Home Depot.

For a few weeks we kept them watered and in some sun until they started to sprout.

When my mom came to visit, Cullen insisted that she be the one to transfer them into the pots because "Marmes really knows hows to do these things."

Of course along the way, there was the infamous water of the brother incident.

Then, just this past Tuesday, C went outside to check on his plants first thing in the morning like he always does but this time came back with 'citing news!'

 All the way from our little seeds, my boy got to try his very own snap pea.

And it tasted 'Ah-licious!'

On Motherhood: Sewing Up the Heart Seams

9:15pm, one night last week.

My feet were up, my computer was out, the TV was on and my day was over. It had been a long one, full of little annoyances; one where I un-guilty looked forward to putting the boys to bed and watching bad tv for a bit before turning in myself. 

Except C didn't want to go to bed. 

He had called upon us several times already with every possible excuse, from needing a glass of water to having an itchy cheek, and I had had enough. When I heard him start wailing the kind of the emotional fake cry he likes to evoke when he is overtired, I went sprinting (preggo style, hiking Kev's sweatpants up on my waist so I wouldn't trip) up the stairs angry. I stood in front of his door with my hands on my ever expanding hips and threatened "There is nothing else you need. You sleep right now, or I am taking away Teddy."

And he started to cry more.

"What, Cullen!? What?" I demanded in frustration.

"I made a hole in Taggy and now he's broken." whimpered the saddest little voice I have ever heard: half afraid that he was in trouble for ripping his blankie and half devastated that his trusty bedtime buddy was now imperfect.

Immediately, my anger disappeared and my heart ached for him. I went into his room, sat down on his bed and examined the seem that had ripped. I told him it would be okay and that I could sew it back together in the morning.

"You can do that, Mommy?"

"I promise."

"That would make me really, really happy. And Taggy too."

So we folded the ripped corner down so he could still sleep with it and then next day sat side by side in my chair as I hand sewed the little seam back together. He admired my work and thanked me over and over again for being the Best Blankie Doctor there ever is. I gave him a big hug and he bounced upstairs to get ready for the day, but in that minute, I was frozen:

Taken to a place in the future where his feelings get hurt, or a bad grade is made after hours of studying. Where he doesn't make the team, or gets caught copying his friend's homework. To a broken heart or belonging to a group of friends with misguided direction or a moment where he feels inexplicably left out.

A place where the rip is not easily fixed with a needle and thread.
And my solutions aren't so readily praised.

What happens on the day when that I can't fix it?

 I suppose all I can do until then is be thankful for the problems that I can handle, grateful that he trusts me to heal him, and hopeful that he will always call out to me if he is hurting, even if I don't have the tools to make it better.

Things I Never Expected to Say, Part 7

Happy Friday!

It's time for your favorite post. 

A perfect start to the weekend, right?

As in the past, anything written in green was said by our dear ol' Cullen and everything else is mine.

Without further ado... the crazy things said in our house, part 7.

*****

Mommy, you should probably brush your hair. It looks kinda funky.

Just tackling, no kicking!

It's 6:30am, we are not making brownies.

Go smell Bubs and see if he has stinky poops.

We are playing a game called 'hits brother in face'. It's not a bad game, cuz Bennett thinks its so, so funny.

So Mommy, today, I was at school and I was in the potty and I remembered to hold my pee-pee down but I was also talking to my friend and I tinckled all over my jeans but I didn't tell my teachers cuz I figured it would dry off when I run really fast on the playground.

How many days in a row are these leggings okay as pants?

Most pointless thing I say all day: please don't make a mess.

{harsh whisper in my face at 1:30am} Is Bubs in your bed? Cuz I think the middle is the coziest.

Basement. We need a basement. 

Mommy! Quick! Bennett is squirting toothpaste everywhere and it's the blue kind!

No way. No lawnmowers in the bathtub, that's an outside toy.

Sometimes I let Bennett eat lunch like this:

I've also realized from this post that B wears this shirt anytime he is doing something crazy. 

Hey Mommy, you know what's a big word that I know? Chardonnay.

At least they put padding down so its safe (?) and I told them they can't dive head first. Good parenting, good parenting.

PS I swear those are not my regular sheets on the bed, our good ones were in the wash!

No popcorn for breakfast. What's your second choice?

Just drink the medicine really fast and use your water as a chaser.

Kev: Did you just tell our son to use a chaser?

(Throughout the entire Ash Wednesday Mass} I DO NOT want dirt on my head.

Me: You have to get dressed, you can't be in just undies all day.

Cullen: Just at Christmas time?

Me: Why can you be in just underwear at Christmas time?

Cullen: Well... cuz everything at Christmas is like a special treat.

Mommy, I was just thinking about a great idea...but then I lost it.

Don't throw soccer balls at Mommy while she is driving, that is dangerous!

I counted $1.08 from my piggy bank. Is that enough to buy me and Bennett some bunk beds this weekend?

Wait. I just realized that when the baby gets here, we will be outnumbered.