I Have Boys

At first, I was going to complain about what an awful Monday morning we had, but I've already complained to my mom and Kev so you all get the cliff notes version: 

it culminated in tears before 11am when I finally pulled the last string and yelled at Bennett for asking for again for the 18329748279347 time for a banana when I had already told him 1832979326 times that he could have one when we got home from the grocery store. 

I rarely truly yell so it scared the bageezus out of him and left him wailing, which in turn upset Wells and got him crying and then annoyed Cullen so he covered his ears and started screaming IT IS TOO LOUD IN HERE. 

And then I cried for the next 3 miles until we reached our house. 

Praying for patience and grace for the coming days.

 *****

So let's just end Monday and talk about 

Things I Never Expected to Say/Hear: I Have Boys Edition.

(Disclaimer: If you are terrified of having children, specifically a house full of boys, or are convinced that your future children 'would never do that', or don't like stories about poop, look away now. 

You've been warned.

But if you need a good laugh, then enjoy. 

And the pictures don't all match up with the quotes, some are just funny snaps from my phone.

Cullen is highlighted in green and Bennett in red)

Me: You cannot pee in the front yard.

Cullen: But we made a restroom so no one can see our bum-bums but us.

No picking your nose and eating it.

No picking your nose and trying to give it to the baby.

No picking your nose and wiping it on Mommy.

Me: Bennett, go upstairs and get dressed.

 {Bennett returns naked with a lacrosse helmet on}

Get that toy out of the baby's diaper....O STOP, out of your mouth!!

Me: Stop playing with your pee-pee 

Bennett: I'm not playing with it, just touching it a lot

Me: Undies on- now.

Do not burp in my face on purpose. 

Cullen: We squirted all your shampoo and your toothpaste into a bucket to do an experiment...is that okay?

You have to put clothes on before you go outside.

Bennett: At school, I was playing house with Natalie but then I eat dirt and she says bye.

Ehhh no pooping in the tub Wells!

Me: Separate toilets boys.

Cullen: But we are having a race to see how makes the most bubbles!

Get your helmet off the table and put pants on...we are having breakfast. 

Me: Don't lick Wells.

Bennett: But Frankie do's it. 

Me: Frankie is a dog, you are not.

Cullen: Mommy, I decided to wear undies today so I don't zip up my pee-pee like I did yesterday. 

B: What are you wearing Mommy?

Me: A dress. Do I look pretty?

B: Not really. 

 

Hockey stick or lacrosse stick, you can't bring both. Wait. We are going to the library, you can't bring either. 

Cullen: Mommy, maybe you should just look for my shoes before you go to bed so you don't have to get annoyed at me in the morning when I can't find them.

Me: You have to take a bath tonight.

Bennett: I smelled me and I'm not stinky.

Cullen: Bennett, we sweat so much today, but we could also just use our super soakers to get clean.

Never a dull moment around here my friends.

 Cheers to an easier Tuesday!