On Choosing Traditions

The first holiday season that Kev and I were together, we spent Thanksgiving with his family. 

(It must be noted that we come from very different families: his is very emotional and mine is not.)

 That first Thanksgiving, he told me that we would go around the table and say what we were Thankful for before dinner (thank goodness he warned me) and I dreaded that moment because in my family, we just assume, we don't say those kind of thing aloud. 

Along came dinner and I was one of the first to share. I mumbled something to the effects of "Kev, and that we are getting married" turned bright red and stared at my plate for the next 20 minutes while everyone else spoke. 

(It is a miracle that his family still let him marry me after that awkwardness.)

A month later, it was Christmas and Kev was spending it with my family. My youngest brother was 14 and had spent the last 3 months in a wheelchair after a dirt bike accident and Christmas was the beginning of him walking on his own again. For the last gift of the morning, my two other brothers presented Tommy with a poem along these lines:

Rose are Red,

Violets are Blue

You no longer have to ride in a cart,

So here is a three second head start.

And then proceed to chase him through the house and beat him up. 

(It is a miracle that my family let me marry Kev after he didn't participate.)

The point? A great challenge of marriage, especially once you have a kids, is deciding which traditions to chose from each family. We are still learning, deciding and picking up on our own new traditions, even after 8 years together.

One family tradition that in a non-negotiable for me is the making of Gingerbread Houses. 

As a kid, I so clearly remember my mom pulling out my grandfather's hand written recipes and cutouts and making the houses with us (and often a houseful of aunts and cousins).

My grandfather's recipes

 I loved the touch and smell of Papa's recipe book (he passed away when I was in 3rd grade) and even though I cheated and bought the store kit from Michael's, I want my boys to know how special these houses are.

All these years later, I am thankful for both of our families and the traditions that they have taught us to share with our boys.