Thoughts on a Third Pregnancy

Just some notes on how this one is different from my others. Things I want to remember, that I have been mentally tracking since we found out on Dec 8th.

1. When I was pregnant with Cullen, it was all we could think/talk about. I wanted to shop, plan, think of names, figure out how we would parent, how the baby would change our lives, how we would remain a happily married couple and make time for each other, worry about how our dog would react, what names his grandparents would go by..ect ect ect all day/every day. 

My sweet little Cullen

My pregnancy with Bennett was spent concerned about having a second child: how would Cullen handle it? How could I possibly love a child as much as we already love the one we have? What's it going to be like waking up at night again? How are we going to balance ourselves and give the kids all the attention they need? Will I stop throwing up ever? I questioned things so much that I very guiltily didn't feel the same connection to B in my womb because I was so busy worry about things on the outside. (Side note: I cried one tear at Cullen's birth. I couldn't pull it together after Bennett was born because I was so overwhelmed by how much I loved him and how much room in my heart there was.)

34 weeks large with B, worried about C

And this one? Totally different. I know how much love I have to give and share with this baby. I know the boys are going to do wonderful with the new baby. Kev and I are good parents. We still love each other and put our marriage first. I can run on very little sleep and when I can't, I am really good at falling asleep the second the boys close their eyes for nap. I know I will get sick everyday. I know I am going to get enormous and therefore am in no hurry to show off my belly. I know that newborn babies don't need much and even though I hope we will be in our house in DC by then, it is okay if we are still trying to find a place to live.

Can't to watch my babies to love each other right away again. This picture will forever be one of my most favorites.

2. This is the first time I have craved something I don't like in real life: olives. I have been eating jars and jars of olives and I hate olives. (With C I craved milk and Bennett was Chinese food.)

3. The exhaustion is a whole other game when there are two little ones at home. Thank god the first few weeks were over Christmas and Kev was home often because I don't know if I would have made it. It was debilitating and frustrating. I am finally at the point where I can make it through the day without a nap, but that is just in the last few days. So thankful to have some energy back.

4. The mood swings with this one are intense. In normal life, I cry like twice a year. The other day, I cried because my mascara looked weird. Someone please find get my even tempered, laid back self and let her know that she is welcome back any time. And thank you mom for bearing the brunt of my early morning hysteria because my coffee smelled funny and the boys brought dirt in the house.

5. I can't wait to hold a sleeping newborn on my chest. I still love when my boys want to cuddle and can't wait to snuggle with a little one who would rather be no where else.

*****

PS- You know how on Monday I joked that we asked my mom to stay another week? Well, the storm brewing on the East Coast canceled her flight out yesterday and she is hoping to get home today. Say a little prayer for on-time and safe flights for her today, will you?