Ralph Came Back

Remember Ralph? The pesky little two year old alter ego of Cullen's who reared his ugly head a few times last summer?

Ralph, a year ago.

Well, last Wednesday, he came back. With a vengeance. I am talking about sassy comments, arguing about what to wear to school, temper tantrums, hitting, running away and yelling 'no'- the whole bit. And days like that are very trying for me.

Y'all, parenting is tough. I know my blog tends to lend itself to the positive and funny side of things, but I work very hard everyday to keep my marriage strong, my home intact and these kids from being little hellions. It take a constant vigilance and sometimes an overwhelming sense of responsibility to raise children right (ish). I learn something new about being a parent every day; it is a never ending learning curve.  So when they do act out, I take it personally.

What behaviors have I been showing that makes Cullen feel like it is okay to act this way? Have Kev adn I been disrespectful towards each other? Am I not treating my friends right? Am I not teaching the boys patience and understanding well enough because I am not exacting those qualities? Am I being too soft and they don't believe that I am really in charge?

***

Wednesday night I got home from my fitness class to Kev informing me that C has punched him in the arm after refusing to go to bed. I was livid. After a day of him pushing my buttons little by little, that was the last straw (Kev had already put him in time out for it, but I was too upset to not talk to him too). I put on my really scary angry mom face (which was magnified by the fact that it was still beat red and sweating from an hour of TurboFire), got out my pointed finger and marched upstairs to let Cullen know how disappointed I was by his behavior. I told him that we loved him very much, but if he got out of his bed for one single reason, I would take some of his buddies (you know, the 2394823904 stuffed animals he sleeps with).  Sure enough, 15 seconds later he was on the landing of our stair case. So without a word, I stomped right past him, into his room and removed 3 buddies.

And He lost it. Completely melted down. Made noises that I have never heard come out of his mouth. Threw himself on the floor wailing.

 It broke our hearts, but we had to stand firm. So despite that reaction, he was plopped back in his bed, finger back in his face, threat that if he does it again, the blankies were going too.

Not another peep was heard (except from Bennett who was woken up in the commotion, naturally).

***
The next morning, C apologized and asked if he could have Thomas back (of course) and during Bennett's morning nap, he and I had a little Come to Jesus meeting about how we should behave. After our talk, I had him tell me the rules of our family and we wrote them on a poster board.

Obviously number 5 is of great concern. Also please note number 7 where he clearly points out that Mommy is the 'mad' one.

That night, we all agreed and signed the rules (B signed in red) and so far, so good. Every time C does something right, he will ask me 'which rules I do's, Mommy?' and is very proud. (Side note: this is not a 'rewards' situation, these are simply clear expectations of how he should always behave.) I think letting him be part of the process, along with showing him that Mommy and Daddy follow these rules too, helped a bit in understanding that they are important, more so than me just telling him 'no' over and over.

I am also assuming that my scary face is, in fact, terrifying.

***

Any tips from other Mamas out there on how to handle behavior problems? I know this isn't the end for us and I'd love to hear your approach.

That Wasn't *Exactly* That and Friday Fancies

Yesterday I shared the story of my sweet Cullen opting to donate his paci to the new baby next store. In my post, I completely wiped myself clean of the paci and figured we would move forward in the world of rainbows and sunshine. Well, for the sake of being honest, and for showing my poor parenting skill (read: taking pictures of sad boys instead of consoling them) here is what I encountered yesterday before nap:

But Mommmm-ay. I want it back now! Go see Ms Er-win at home and tell her. Pu-wease Mommm-ay Pu-wease!

 But Bubba {Bennett} has-a bunch a pacisssss. Hes can give ones to Ev-lyn den I can get mines back. Pu-wease Mommm-ay, Puwease!

 But I's not a tired yet...

My brave boy did power through and managed to fall asleep all on his own for nap, although he woke up still crying. A 'picnic' and cuddle in my bed, while watching a Thomas show was a quick fix (and added a little extra rest time).Then naturally, when Kev got home from work, Cullen told him he was a big boy who doesn't use a paci and went right to sleep tonight. Figures.

Thank you though for all your sweet comments about his generosity, he really is a thoughtful boy. O and to those who complimented me on his writing abilities- while he is a smart kid, right now, we are still working on drawing a circle. He dictated and decorated with scribbles, I wrote :)

On to Friday Fancies. I have to admit, I'm not a Valentine's Day girl. It is just not special in my book, I'd rather Kev spontaneously feel like bringing me flowers, or buy something because he saw it and thought of me then celebrate Valentine's Day. It has just never been my thing. However, one of my girlfriends invited me over on Saturday for an afternoon of baking sugary goodness and drinking wine. Those are definitely two things I can get on board with.

1. Who isn't loving a Chambray shirt (Old Navy chambray shirt, $27) right now? I had no idea a jean shirt could be so versatile. In this look, I think it counters the 'hotness' of the skinny jeans and makes the overall outfit less fancy, but still fun.

2. I do not own this pants (Pink skinny jeans, $282). I will most likely never own these pants. But if I thought I was cool enough to wear hot pink skinnies, I would give it a shot. (I'm not.)

3. I've seen these Toms shoes floating around recently and I can't help to be drawn to them. I'd wear a nice neutral pair like this all the time.

4. Top this casual Valentine's Girl's Day look off with some pretty bangles (Dorothy Perkins metal jewelry, $11) and festive studs (Crystal stud earrings, $7.20) and I think we have the perfect outfit. All that is left are my wine glass filled up and a cupcake to try.

What are you up to this weekend? Am I the only girl who doesn't celebrate Valentine's Day?

Go To Bed Ralph!

It's been a while since we have visited darling Ralph, Cullen's evil twin and I thought there was no time like a Tuesday to bring him back. You see, we are very blessed that our boys are good sleepers and have never had major bedtime or naptime issues (knocking on wood as I type this). Since Cullen was a bitty baby (and now Bennett too), we just put him in his bed, read a book or two, give him his lovies, turn off the light and shut the door. We have no idea how long it takes him to fall asleep because we have never used a monitor and he's never come out of his room until the morning. We just know that he sleeps, and for 12 hours at a time... until now. Ralph has re-entered our lives in the manner of 'how many excuses can I muster in order not to go to bed'?

Every evening, after we easily put our boys to bed, husband and I sit on the couch, ready to put the day behind us and watch tv, {blog} and unwind. But lately, after ten minutes or so, we will hear a little creak of the door, followed by the pitter-patter of two year old toes to the op of our staircase. And then Ralph will annouce:

Mommm-AY... I need to get comfy, comfy, comfy cozy. {editor's note: how many levels of comfy can you really have before you are cozy?}

a few minutes later

Daddd-AY... I need a sip of wa-ter. {editor's note: he already had some}

a few minutes later

Mommm-AY... Broder left his towel in your room. {editor's note: C still confuses 'your' and 'my'}

a few minutes later

Daddd-AY...Kevin da Train needs to go downdtairs {editor's note: C is very particular about where his toys belong: crayons and trains down'dairs', cars and animals up'dairs'}

a few minutes later

Momm-AY... my teef hurt and I need med-cine. {editor's note: no}

a few minutes later

Dadd-AY...I need to go potty. {editor's note: high five Cullen, way to be potty trained}

35 minutes later

Me: surely there is nothing else Ralph can come up with right? Right? And seriously, are we never going to learn who Ted is going to marry? Come on season preimer of How I Met Your Mother, you're killin me.

a few minutes later

Mommmy-Ay...can I lay in broder's bed?  {editor's note: Most certainly not, Go to bed Ralph}