Yesterday, Jenn commented,
Look at you- taking a hike and looking all pretty. Anything involving walking a mile or more qualifies for yoga pants around here.
Well Jenn, let me explain. When I say 'hike', I really mean 'leisurely stroll on a clearly marked path through the woods'. Also, I hate wearing tennis shoes. And am generally not outdoors-y, unless by outdoors-y you mean enjoying taking the boys to the playground, touring a vineyard or attending a sporting event.
But to best explain by attitude toward nature adventure, I thought I'd share some convos between my (ever sweet and accepting) husband and I about various outdoor activities.
{On Hiking}
Kev: Are you really going to wear rainbows?
Me: Yes.
Ke: What if we do something strenuous or there are snakes?
Me: I don't do strenuous or snakes, so that shouldn't be an issue.
{On golfing}
Kev: Want to try and play golf with me some time?
Over-eager 22 year old me who was trying to impress my new boyfriend: Of course! That would be SO fun!
After the second hole.
Me: Yea, so I'm not good at this and my back is sweating, so I'm just going to drive the cart and drink beer now.
Kev: Really? It is only the second hole.
Me: I'll be happy to cheer you on from here.
{On running}
Kev: Wouldn't you love to do a marathon one day?
Me: No.
Kev: But think of the sense of accomplish you would feel, it would be awesome.
Me: My legs would probably hurt and there would be awkward chaffing. Plus, that means five hours of my life would be spent on running.
{On camping}
Kev: We should take the boys camping one day.
Me: Oooo in one of those 5-star motorcoaches like on The Travel Channel?
Kev: Um, I was thinking in a tent.
Me: O. Well then....no. Maybe in a hotel room?
Kev: Hotels aren't camping.
Me: Then cabin sounds like a compromise, as long as it has a fireplace. Marriage is all about compromise, right?
{On Kayaking while on our honeymoon}
Kev: Want to rent a kayak?
Me: What for?
Kev: Uhh to go kayaking?
Me: But what do you do?
Kev: Paddle around and look at things.
Me: Hmm I can see lots of things from here. Plus, life vests give me weird tan lines.
{Side Note: I did go kayaking. See? I'm not a terrible wife}
{On REI}
Kev: I love REI, what a great store.
Me: Ugh. Tents, bikes, bug spray, sporty sunglasses and dresses designed by Patagonia? It is my nightmare.
Kev: Your nightmare? Isn't that a bit dramatic?
Me: You're right. My nightmare is going camping in order to run a marathon the next day, followed by kayaking in a muddy lake. While wearing tennis shoes and a dress made by Patagonia. Possibly only made worse if I had to eat meat out of a can.
Look at you- taking a hike and looking all pretty. Anything involving walking a mile or more qualifies for yoga pants around here.
Well Jenn, let me explain. When I say 'hike', I really mean 'leisurely stroll on a clearly marked path through the woods'. Also, I hate wearing tennis shoes. And am generally not outdoors-y, unless by outdoors-y you mean enjoying taking the boys to the playground, touring a vineyard or attending a sporting event.
But to best explain by attitude toward nature adventure, I thought I'd share some convos between my (ever sweet and accepting) husband and I about various outdoor activities.
{On Hiking}
Kev: Are you really going to wear rainbows?
Me: Yes.
Ke: What if we do something strenuous or there are snakes?
Me: I don't do strenuous or snakes, so that shouldn't be an issue.
{On golfing}
Kev: Want to try and play golf with me some time?
Over-eager 22 year old me who was trying to impress my new boyfriend: Of course! That would be SO fun!
After the second hole.
Me: Yea, so I'm not good at this and my back is sweating, so I'm just going to drive the cart and drink beer now.
Kev: Really? It is only the second hole.
Me: I'll be happy to cheer you on from here.
{On running}
Kev: Wouldn't you love to do a marathon one day?
Me: No.
Kev: But think of the sense of accomplish you would feel, it would be awesome.
Me: My legs would probably hurt and there would be awkward chaffing. Plus, that means five hours of my life would be spent on running.
{On camping}
Kev: We should take the boys camping one day.
Me: Oooo in one of those 5-star motorcoaches like on The Travel Channel?
Kev: Um, I was thinking in a tent.
Me: O. Well then....no. Maybe in a hotel room?
Kev: Hotels aren't camping.
Me: Then cabin sounds like a compromise, as long as it has a fireplace. Marriage is all about compromise, right?
{On Kayaking while on our honeymoon}
Kev: Want to rent a kayak?
Me: What for?
Kev: Uhh to go kayaking?
Me: But what do you do?
Kev: Paddle around and look at things.
Me: Hmm I can see lots of things from here. Plus, life vests give me weird tan lines.
{Side Note: I did go kayaking. See? I'm not a terrible wife}
{On REI}
Kev: I love REI, what a great store.
Me: Ugh. Tents, bikes, bug spray, sporty sunglasses and dresses designed by Patagonia? It is my nightmare.
Kev: Your nightmare? Isn't that a bit dramatic?
Me: You're right. My nightmare is going camping in order to run a marathon the next day, followed by kayaking in a muddy lake. While wearing tennis shoes and a dress made by Patagonia. Possibly only made worse if I had to eat meat out of a can.
{Disclaimer: I am only mocking myself here. I wish I was cool/athletic/adventurous enough to run marathons and look cool in sweat-resistant gear, but alas, I am not. And if my boys really, really wanted to go camping, I would graciously suck it up. I love being outside with my boys and exploring new things. I just really don't like wearing tennis shoes :) }
*********
Wait, you STILL haven't entered Matha's giveaway for one of my prints AND a $30 Target gift card? Quit making me look bad by sorting through your hiking gear and get on over there to enter!
14 comments:
Oh my gosh, we're twins! I despise the great outdoors if it doesn't involve a football game on a crisp fall day, a warm beach, or...well, that's it.
Scott told me to buy a sleeping bag for my overnight field trip last week because I don't have one. I said, "But I'll never use it again."
REI is the silliest store ever. Talk about overpriced.
I'm so glad that I'm not the only one!
This is why I love you!
Also, for the record, my first date with jared included an impromptu hike up a 600 ft. waterfall while wearing slipon Dr. Scholl's sandals and I survived! So Rainbows would be NO problem for an adventure!
Meanwhie, off to Martha's blog...
I love camping and outdoors.
Omg this had me in stitches over here!!! Too funny!!!
And actually, depending on the hotel, it can totally be classified as camping. ;)
This post cracked me up!! :-)
Jayme @ Her Late Night Cravings
So funny and sounds a little familiar. ;)
You are HILARIOUS!!! And girl, I totally feel the same way! I mean, I will hike, but that's about it. The whole camping thing? Well there are few things in this world I hate to do MORE!
Unfortunately, in our line of work (and all the time we spend in 3rd world countries) I sometimes have to suck it up. Typically that means one massive break down (that sometimes includes crying) at the beginning (of camping in the jungle in Thailand, or staying in a 90 degree house in Africa with no screens on the windows and bugs everywhere) and then I pretend to be a champ while gritting my teeth and praying for it to be OVER. Rusty keeps being all, "but wasn't camping FUN?!?" While I give him the "if you make me do that one more time I will scream, cry, and/or hurt you" look.
I don't know what God was thinking sending this pageant girl some of the places He sends me! I think he must watch me and laugh... a lot!
We are one in the same! I love your response to the kayaking question. "What for?"
Definitely a girl after my own heart!
LOL, great post! I like to do some outdoor activities, but I draw the line at camping.
This is awesome!!!!!
I will camp - but in a camper! and I will not let my new Anthropologie sundress anywhere near the bonfire - I don't want to stink like smoke! AND I bring a coffee maker and a beautiful large mug to drink out of, and a down comforter (with a cute duvet) :) Compromising!!!
Have a super day,
Maggie
ha! love this...I actually really enjoy the outdoors, but I've been camping 2x in my life; and that was 2x too many!
This is hilarious :) I'm kind of with you on the outdoors thing..Some times, it's the most fun (example: sporting events involving beer) but most of the time...I'll choose the AC ;)
i WISH i could do a marathon. never been a runner or even a jogger
Lol! This is awesome! I enjoy outdoors, but to a point and then I've had enough! Too hot, I'm done. Too cold, no thanks. Mosquitoes, the end.
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