The other night, Kev and I were talking about our future goals. He is a planner and I am a how-can-we-plan-because-we-don't-really-know-what-is-going-to-happen type of person. This usually makes us work well together because I can decide that we need to go on vacation right now and he will make sure we have a place to actually sleep (not in a tent, obviously). After work the other day, he had our future on his brain and he asked me what my goals are for 30 years from now. The conversation proceeded like this:
Me: Um, depends on our kids. And where they are and what they are doing and if their wives are awesome and enjoy me visiting my grandchildren constantly. I'd like our boys to still love me even when they have a wife to take care of them.
Kev: So you just want to follow our children around and visit grandkids?
Me: Not exactly, I just want to be accessible to them. And when I'm not doing that, I'd like to be on a warm beach with a cocktail.
Kev: I'm not sure if that is really a goal.
Me: Why not?
We save a lot of money each month to help ensure a comfortable retirement and help with the boys' college funds. I'm hoping that making these sacrifices over the next 30 years will literally allow me to hang out on the beach with Kev and talk about how successfully we raised our children. Ideally, that place would be on Kiawah Island in South Carolina, but I'm not even set on that.
My darling hubby, confused by my emotionally fueled and vague response, then shortened the goal time frame for me.
My darling hubby, confused by my emotionally fueled and vague response, then shortened the goal time frame for me.
Kev: What about in the next 5 years? What are your goals?
Me: Have another baby.
Kev: What else?
Me: Be a homeroom mom.
Kev: But don't you want to go back to school and get your master's degree?
Me: Eh, not a life goal for me.
Kev: What about with your photography business?
Me: If people buy my pics, it will make me happy, but I don't feel the need to push it. I always want to love taking pictures, does that count?
Kev: Do you want to go back to work full time?
Me: Not if it means missing out on picking up the boys from school, making them snack and asking about their days. Although, I'd love to teach part-time again {like I did after C was born} if the opportunity arises. But otherwise, no, working full-time, not a goal.
My goals don't live on a piece of paper or in a paycheck (although I admire full-time working moms like none other). I am fulfilling my goals every day in being the best mom I can be. My goals are met when I hear Cullen use his manners. My goals are met when Bennett learns something new. My goals are met because in 30 years, my ideal world is hanging out with Kev.
I don't have huge aspirations for a career beyond being a good wife, mother and friend. And it is not that I unmotivated, I have always wanted family would be my priority. Even when I was a little girl, I knew I wanted to be a teacher because that schedule would work with being a mom. Certainly, there are days when I miss the respect of a real job and there are days when the boys drive me crazy and I feel unappreciated, but I still love and cherish every moment of meeting my goals on a daily basis.
When it comes down to it, my life goals are that my family is happy, my house is clean, my children are gainful members of society and one day, to drink cocktails on the beach with my hubs and hang out with my grandchildren whenever possible. Anything beyond that is a plus. Luckily, I have a husband who laughs, and agrees that raising a wonderful family is really the best goal we can have.
Is that really too much to wish for? Or is that not enough?
When it comes down to it, my life goals are that my family is happy, my house is clean, my children are gainful members of society and one day, to drink cocktails on the beach with my hubs and hang out with my grandchildren whenever possible. Anything beyond that is a plus. Luckily, I have a husband who laughs, and agrees that raising a wonderful family is really the best goal we can have.
Is that really too much to wish for? Or is that not enough?
What are your goals?
I love to hear what other's are striving for; the differences are what makes life interesting!
I love to hear what other's are striving for; the differences are what makes life interesting!
18 comments:
This is it. This is exactly the kind of thought process I have when I delve into my plans for the future (peppered with the whole ignore-the-fact-that-I'm-still-single).
But really, my best friend is focused on making $80,000/year by the time she's 30 (which is an awesome goal, don't get me wrong) but I'm more concerned with the things you just listed: having a happy family with God in our hearts and smiles on our faces as much as possible. My main goal in life is love, in all its forms.
And should we find ourselves 30 years from now, sitting on a front porch overlooking a lake with a glass of wine in hand, so be it :)
Absolutely everything you said!! Being the best mother I can be and raising healthy happy kids is my goal. And to have them still love me at the end of it ;)
Your goals sound like the best kind of goals to have and I think they are exactly enough! I mean, really, in the end it won't matter how much we worked, what degrees we hold, or how successful we were. But it will matter that we have a loving family that wants to be together and lifelong friends that have been there through it all. There are days where I wonder if I should go back to work so that we can make more money, have more things, etc. and then I remember that those aren't the things that make me happy. It's being with my daughter that gives me joy- not money or things!
I think you're right on par! My goal is to also be a full time mom and a school volunteer, and I think teaching works out well for me too that way. I thank my mom everyday for being able to raise us as a full time mom and she loved it! In fact, now that all of her kids are grown, she's now figuring out what she wants to do now just to keep herself busy during the day so that the nights are for her and my dad. So even after your guys are grown your goals could change, but if they don't I don't think that's bad at all. It says a lot about how much you love your family and your husband and I think that that's so admirable, something some day I hope I can have!
Dear, dear Katie,
In a world filled with dysfunction and evil, what better goal can there be than to raise beautiful, kind, adjusted, productive, caring children who can change this world and make it a better place.
And Kiawah Island, SC is a great place for you to end up!
I know so many people who have very specific goals and think less of themselves, others, etc. when those goals are not met. In the big picture, I think along the same lines you do my dear Katie! I have learned SO much in the last few years about what I want out of life and so far I know I want to be happy and leave a good legacy. By that I mean give us much positivity and goodness to the children I am not blessed with yet, the true friends in my life, James, my brother and sisters, my niece and nephews, my parents....and basically anyone I meet along the way. Of course I have career goals because I want to do all of that goodness comfortably but what really matters to me is so much bigger than that yet SO much smaller. I love that you put it into such eloquent words and I completely agree! Miss you and love you!
I love your goals! Josh and I are always talking about how we want our family to be super close when we are older...talk almost every day, see each other all the time, etc. I'm also praying for daughter-in-laws who like me!!! Another long-term goal I have is to have a book published. One day maybe!
Being a (good) mom has always been enough of a goal for me. However, sometimes friends/acquaintances can drive me nuts when they talk down about stay at home moms like they are less accomplished. I've always felt my responsibilities to taking care of my family comes before all else.
I have had plenty of opportunity to get my masters, but I just haven't felt the desire to do so. I guess I don't want to do it just because I can, and since I don't have any plans to use it right now I choose not to pursue it.
In an ideal world, I'ld love to find a way to contribute financially to my family in a creative way. Although I don't have much in the way of creativity or talent, so I haven't figured that out just yet.
this is a fabulous post...and spending time on the beach may be the best goal of all! ha!
As a mother to a 5 month old, my one & only goal would be to raise my daughter (& future children) in a way that would be pleasing to God & have well-rounded, respectful children.
Then I can go to the beach & sip a cocktail!
How lassez faire of you! I also just assume that if I do whatever I can do, to the best of my ability, things will fall into place. My husband does the financial stuff because I hate dealing with it, and he apparently enjoys his spreadsheets.
Though I don't have kids of my own yet, I often think that I've done my job when I see my students doing things I've taught them that have nothing to do with academics.
Well said my friend, well said. I'm right on track with you on your goals. It's all about family:) So wonderful how your end goal is just being with your hubby!
I have the same goals. I think about who my boys will marry, also ...hopefully someone exactly like me :-)
I think that as long as someone's goals are right for them and their family, they're absolutely perfect! A few of my current goals are to have 1 or 2 kids, own a home, become a published author, be a successful writer and editor, and help provide for my parents as they age.
I love reading your blog. This post especially warmed my heart. Being a Mother and wife truly is the hardest and most rewarding job there is. I went back to work over a year ago because I was given an opportunity to work wiht military families. It has been challenging to balance it all, but I do love it. Although I do love working I don't believe for a minute my career defines me. Having my little ones wrap their arms around me and say they love me is the best feeling in the world. No promotion or award at work can bring feelings that.
Honestly I don't think there is a better job than being a mother or a wife. I love being a girlfriend. I look forward to having kids running around, being married to my boo and all the rest. I don't think your life goals are too much. You want what is best for your kids and family like any other positive thinking mother/wife. I too would to to one day hang out with my grandkids too (:
As far as goals to, I have a lot. A lot towards a lot of things. I want to finish school. I want to put in another 2000 hours with patients. I want to work in urgent care. I want to continued to being independent. I want to travel, marry my love, have a few babies, own a beautiful yet useful home. I just want to be happy regardless of burdens, struggles and mishaps. Not to be perfect, not to pursue an imaginary lifestyle. Just to be me.
I hope you can reach all of your goals Kate (:
Yes!!! Yes yes yes. I just went through the grueling interview process (no babies yet, but working on it- in the meantime, hubby is in school and I'm done so I'm the sugar mama) and whenever they asked me what I wanted to be doing in 5 years, all I could think was that I hoped I was buried in diapers and cheerios, ready to pass out in my husband's arms at the end of the day.
You sound like a wonderful mom! And I'm glad your sons know the importance of good manners. :)
I love your honesty! So often I think Mom's are viewed as needing to "do more" in order to prove they aren't "just a mom." I think being a mom is an admirable way to spend your life! And hanging out on the beach for a few decades sounds perfect for you :)
My goal is to be happily married until the day I die, become a college professor, and make significant contributions to the psychology field with my research.
xoxo! eliza
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